I need some help understanding.
My mom loves me and so does my grandmother. But since I was a kid, they would comment on my weight. Praising me when I lost some and berating me when I gained. I made it mean that they only value me because of my weight and how I look.
Now that I’m older, I find myself getting angry every time they bring it up. I know that they are doing it because THEY have their own insecurities, but I cant help but think to myself ” This is not how it should be” or that “They watch everything that I eat”.
This makes me want to REBEL and I’ll eat SO much more just to spite them. This is an issue because I do have the goal of wanting to lose the weight and listen to my body.
I want to feel empathy for them instead. Some thoughts I have come up with are:
- This is about them not me
- This is so sad that that is all they think about it
- This is all that they know
- This doesnt have to mean anything about me
BUT, I JUST AM STRUGGLING to actually believe this.
When they make comments, I can’t help but feel angry and like they shouldn’t be saying these things and it’s so horrible! That thought feels so much stronger than the others.