My mother is a woman that most of the time is in emotional childhood mode. It has had an important impact on my emotional skills. When I listened to you talking about emotional adulthood I realized I have been an emotional baby in many areas of my life. I also realized that my mom has been my emotional baby since I was a little child. Now, I try to be an emotional adult in my life and I treat my mom as an adult too. Now she is 70 years old, and she decided to sell her house and travel to India and Costa Rica. I did everything to prevent hem from selling his only house because I thought she was going to spend the money in what ever, and then she was going to ask for help. I couldn’t stop her, so I stop spending energy on that. She doesn’t have a job or career, no money. Now, 1 year and a half later, she starts to call me “sharing” her fear, asking for help. Very “innocent”, the poor old lady wants me to listen how she didn’t have any other options, how life has been unfair with her. I don’t like to listen to this, and I start to be very sharp to her. Ok, the model that helps me don’t start a fight at home is:
C: destabilized mom
T: now I have to solve the consequences of their actions
F: weight on the shoulders – downed – upset
A: fight with husband and everyone – stop taking care of my self
R: I neglect my goals, drama at home, neglect my family, I hurt myself
I can see that the result of neglect my life is an evidence that my energy is on her life, not in mine.
C: destabilized mom
T: She is a woman capable and responsible for herself
A: Take care of my self
R: Peace at home, I keep fighting for my dreams, I become a mature and stable woman.
I see that peace at home and take care of me and family is an evidence that … She will be responsible of her self because is the only solution she has?
Ok, this is my work. I feel I start to understand how the model works in a more deep way. Do you think I’m doing it well? Is there something I am missing?
Thank you so much angel!!! xo