I just posted a couple hours ago about my mom (wanting to go to Disneyland), so obviously you haven’t even had a chance to respond, but I wanted to add something. I was doing some more models on interactions that I had with her today. My mom tends to dwell on making decisions that might make other people mad and talks to me about them for hours sometimes.

C: mom expressing concern about disappointing someone
T: why the hell cant she just make a decision and move on?
F: annoyed
A: Not actively listening to her
R: mom doesn’t feel heard and talks more

C: mom expressing concern about disappointing someone
T: of course she is worried because she thinks she controls how everyone else feels
F: amused (this seriously made me laugh to picture her feeling so powerful over others feelings because it’s so ridiculous)
A: listen with enjoyment
R: mom feels heard.

I am thinking that I need to find the humor in my mom. Changing this model felt so good to me and actually made me feel some love and compassion for my mom.