My 68-year-old mother wants to get together with my family (husband and small kid) and my sister’s family (husband and two small kids) and my 70-year-old dad this weekend, in violation of our state’s shelter in place order. She thinks it is fine because we have all been careful for 14 days and none of us show signs of being sick. I tell her that I don’t agree and that it’s a risk, even if we have all been careful/washing hands /social distancing, etc. She tells me she doesn’t want to fight but thinks I am “overreacting”.
C Mom says I am overreacting
T what the hell is wrong with her
A tell my husband about it, text my friends about it seeking validation, read the news, research to find evidence in my favor, buffer with my phone, be snarky with my husband, read SCS and submit this question, shut down and get crabby
R something is wrong with me!
Having trouble getting to a new model. Am resisting the anger. Combo of thinking my parents are being dumb and being mad that my mom disagrees with me and won’t validate me (definitely not the first time this has happened!)
New possible thoughts:
I’m angry and it’s okay
It’s okay for my mom to disagree with me (I know this is true intellectually but emotionally just feels like rejection, so this is not a neutral thought)
I can be curious about why my mom disagreeing with me makes me so angry
I can love my mom even if she disagrees with me
Maybe my mom is right (haha, definitely doesn’t feel true)
Maybe I can find a way to see that she is right (my anger is overreacting)
Any other thoughts or insight? I’d love to feel calm and loving and not angry and righteously indignant.