"Mom should have gotten treatment earlier"

Background: Mom is 77 and has dementia. She has infiltrating basal cell carcinoma on her face and she recently had surgery for it, but the doctor says it has spread to her eyelids and does not recommend surgery for that area. She had surgery for the carcinoma scheduled in December 2019 but canceled it, partly because she felt responsible to focus on caring for my brother while he was recovering from heart surgery, and my stepfather who has dementia. Then the pandemic delayed surgical treatment.

C. Mom canceled surgery to treat carcinoma in December 2019
T. Mom should have gotten treatment earlier.
F. Angry
blame my sister, my brother, my stepfather, my mother, myself, and my mother’s doctor
look for evidence that the cancer spread to the eyelid could have been prevented
tell myself that her vision will be affected and that she will be even more disfigured
don’t accept the C
plan to ask for new doctor
R. Argue with reality? I am not seeing how my T is reflected in my result.

Coaching appreciated on this.