Mom’s comments

Unintentional Model

C- My mom made a comment that when we were kids she was able to do her business from home with the kids.
We had been talking about my options for child care for my children while I am doing coaching calls and live videos etc.
T- I thought something like: that’s nice this is different.
F- I felt judged
A- I became judgmental and started thinking critical thoughts about her unsuccessful businesses.
R- ? I’m not sure. I think I caught myself and prevented a result from occurring. but I think that line of thinking would result in strain on our relationship.

Can thoughts be actions? Does thinking about comebacks and snarky comments in my head count as an action?
Do I prevent results when I try to choose a better thought instead?

Intentional Model

C- Mom made a comment
T- That was her experience, she’s allowed to share her experiences
F- honest / neutral
A- Don’t react. Respond with appreciation.
R- A healthy relationship with my mom

Are there other thoughts that I could practice thinking that would help me avoid that judgy space that I tend to find myself in with my mom?
What is the opposite of feeling of judged?

I am currently living in my mom’s basement with my two children and they are helping me out with child care while I work from home so that our family can live our dream of living half the year in Africa where my husband is from, and half the year in Canada where I am from, without losing health care benefits which I want for my daughter who is type one diabetic.

I will be living with my mom for the next 5 months, so it’s important to me that we have a healthy working relationship. It’s been very strained in the past so I want to do things better now.

In the future, we plan to get our own place nearby so that when we are in Canada they can have lots of access to our girls and enjoy a great grandparent/ grandchild relationship. But for now, I’m embracing doing hard things like living in my mom’s basement so that I save money to build up my business and create the life that I want for my family.