Mom’s Crazy Boyfriend

Hey Brooke – my mom’s boyfriend likes to push people’s buttons to get a rise out of them. He is an alcoholic/ has depression and often projects his feelings onto other people. I live with her currently, so it’s inevitable that I’m a target of his outbursts. Additionally, I’m in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend was in a serious car accident about 9 months ago and as a result, I haven’t seen him as much as I did before (he hasn’t replaced his car yet, gets anxiety about travel, and I think has gotten a little depressed due to not being able to do certain physical activities anymore, including walking without pain).

Today, my mom’s boyfriend started yelling – I’ve dealt with this with him while growing up as well — about how my boyfriend is using me, how I’m a ‘booty call’, how he puts no effort into our relationship, how my relationship is the most bizarre thing he’s ever seen, and then started imitating my boyfriend as a cripple. Needless to say I was MAD. I feel empathetic and patient towards my boyfriend’s situation but hearing all this first made me paranoid about my relationship (does my BF really not care? am I wasting my life being in a LD relationship?) and second. just so mad that anyone would treat someone like this.

I know I have a choice to move out but I feel I need and want to protect my little sisters from destructive behaviors of my parents. I also feel being very lonely living on my own as my boyfriend isn’t close by.

I can expect that my mom’s boyfriend will act like a crazy person and say mean things but how do I stop myself from getting so angry as a result? I know he isn’t a stable person and WANTS to get a reaction out of me, but I have trouble telling myself a story where this is funny or not a big deal. It hurts and upsets me. Help?