Mom’s routine visit & buffering

My 78 year old mom lives an hour away in a small town at a family compound of sorts with sisters and other relatives. Every couple of months or so she comes to stay with me for anywhere from one week to one month to spend time with me and give her sister a break from full-on togetherness.

I enjoy our times together. However, I’ve always found it hard to stick with any plans (in the way of working on my self growth or life improvement, business startup, etc) when she’s here. The minute I walk in the door after work I’m bombarded with TV and it just makes it even easier to fall into buffer mode, even if I had good intentions otherwise before coming home. I can’t and don’t blame that on her. It’s all me. I’m just not good at sticking with my plan under the circumstances of her being here.

I will be seeing her Saturday at a fam reunion. She called tonight to ask what I’m doing for the next two weeks (code for “is it an ok time for a visit?”). I replied, “You know I’ve been saying I’m going to adopt a new way of eating for many, many long months now. I’m finally motivated to do it so I planned to start on Sunday after the reunion. That means if you are visiting we won’t be going out to eat much, if at all. I’ll be doing a variety of twice daily big salads. I’m also starting a daily 20 min walk among the beautiful neighborhoods so if you are here that means you will be out walking with me. You won’t get to stay home.” She said she could use the walk and maybe after she returns back to her home she will be able to keep it up and the change in eating sounded like a good idea for her also and she feels like she needs a change of scenery. (I failed to remind her I got rid of cable TV to help eliminate the all to easiness of buffering.)

So we agreed she would come back home with me after the reunion. All was well until about 15 min later when I realized I had planned to enjoy the remaining 3 days of my 4 day weekend in solitude, not just to prep for starting my protocol but to unwind from work stress and recent really long workdays. Then I was kinda bummed because I didn’t want to back out on her, but….

So my unintended model:

C-mom wants to visit
T-I was really looking forward to my 4 day weekend and having 3 days of that be alone time. Grrr.
F-boxed in and stuck
A-go thru the weekend and perhaps the whole visit from a negative, annoyed place
R-don’t enjoy my weekend, don’t enjoy the 2 week visit with mom and probably start buffering again–which could lead to much longer delays in getting motivated once again

And new:

C-mom wants to visit
T-mom is open to helping me stick with my plan and sounded a little excited or at least interested in doing it for herself during our visit
F-excited to get to put new plans in action and lucky to have a co-conspirator
A-walk various neighborhoods 20 min daily; plan my daily meals; follow thru on my protocol;
R-enjoy visit with mom, especially our daily walks; enjoy exploring twice daily salads with her and finding ways together to mix them up; stick with my planned protocol; see results; feel fantastic

When I was thinking thru it in my head, I wasn’t coming up with any good thoughts for the new model and really thought I needed your help to get it turned around. But once I started typing and started the new model from the bottom up I always amaze myself. It works out every time. ❤️