Monday Hour One Process and Progress Shame


I have been a self coaching scholar for about 17 days. I have done my thought download about 80% of these days, and then pick one thought (some days 2 or 3) to practice my modeling skills with.

One of my challenges before was doing something similar to a monday hour one, but never able to actually figure it out and then beating myself up over it when I fail to strictly follow my calendar. Sometimes it is because I put things in my calendar that were things that I felt I should do, but my thought process didn’t lead me to thinking I could actually do it when I scheduled the calendar item. This used to actually bring me great anxiety, because I know the benefits of planning out things ahead of time. Now that I am accepting that my thoughts are just my thoughts, I am trying to incorporate this again.

I realized quickly that while on weekdays it is easy to schedule things around work, my morning thought download, stretching, prepping for my work day. And then after I usually do some kind of exercise class, yoga or go for a run to disconnect from “the office” due to working from home. The weekends are really tough as I do feel like I need to relax a little, but at the same time I have all day for “me” things. I will put things on my calendar, but then kind of shift them around. Sometimes it is because I allow myself to sleep in, others is because I might buffer alittle before I start my day. Sometimes, I will take a look at my calendar and actually hone in and review what I am doing for the day and adjust it to better fit my goals.

Sitting down and putting my thoughts down once a week is a lot of work, especially when I haven’t practiced doing it. For this week, I did my calendar on Friday before work as I am usually tired with work (40 hr 9-5). My brain starts to drift anyway so I decided to at least drift into the next week. I found this very helpful but I am discovering the need to make adjustments. Today on Sunday, after my thought download I actually found that there are some things on my calendar that I can adjust, especially for today that I feel that will help me reach my goals. I slightly adjust, and planned more thorough scheduling for later tonight (Setting a focus for Scholars this week, schedule my coaching call, hone in on the type of SCS podcast that would support my thought downloads). Also a session for work which I figured out a circumstance that I at least feel is possible to do (slightly difficult, but honestly I can try) for the week which I need to prep for too.

I guess my question isn’t really a question, but more of a search for validation?  How do I do my hour one, what comes next with my thought download, what about all the thoughts I write but I forget about? This IS difficult.

I have finally realized that we all have our own processes for how we deal. The searching and discovery is probably something that would be delayed if the answers were given to me. I know I am nowhere near where I want to be, but that’s okay. The anger and rage which caused me to join 3 weeks ago has improved a lot. While I still get these feelings and emotions, I am more prepared to deal with them now that I did before. I used to get physically anxious in the evenings and mornings thinking about work. Now I am only anxious sometimes at work.

I am excited to see where I will be at the end of the month, 6 weeks in and more. I have also gone though this on my own and have come up with similar situations, and I am scared that this will end up like every other time, I feel good about something for weeks, maybe even months but then it all comes crashing down harder than before.