Monday Hour One Scheduling – Not Sticking to It

I am faaaaaaaaaaantastic at making schedules. Highlighters. The whole ordeal.

I’ve been struggling recently to stick to what I put in the schedule. I’m kind of a recovering perfectionist so I try not to beat myself up for not following my schedule, but I’m not sure if I am just writing too strict of a schedule and not allowing time to be human and breathe and have fun, or if I’m just buffering.

Most of the thoughts that come up are “I don’t want to do that.” “I’m tired.” “No, this isn’t important enough anymore. I need to do this instead.”

The I’m tired one leads me to another question.

What do we do with anxiety at night? I have some supposedly chronic health issues (that I still try to find a way to think myself out of) that require me to get 8 SOLID hours of sleep (which usually means about 10 hours in bed for me) regularly to feel okay and energized etc. But I am still struggling to handle ruminating thoughts when a circumstance that I don’t like happens. Even if I talk to a friend about it and work through some unintentional models, I still have nights where I’m just jittery, my brain doesn’t shut off, and I stay awake way too late to get the sleep I need before needing to get up for work the next day. I’m usually fighting with my brain to make it shut up so I can sleep lol. But then I feel like I’m trying to change a circumstance which is “brain won’t shut up,” but the brain doesn’t shut up because of thoughts so now I’m confused how to figure out how to put myself to sleep faster on nights where I have rumination (or sometimes even inspiration— Like I don’t know if inspiration can ever be a buffer, but sometimes at night I’m like OOO and what if I could have a house that looked like this OOOO I have to google this RIGHT NOW and OOO .. like a million things I want to look up and learn about)