Monday Hour One: Scheduling & Self-Sabotage

I watched the Monday Hour One videos and have been implementing it for the last three weeks.  I’m noticing lots of little areas to tweak which is so interesting and helpful.  The big habit that I noticed is that I have a habit of turning things that I want to do into things that I don’t want to do and then I fight with myself.  I also feel more pressured with the schedule and then shame myself for not keeping to the exact schedule and for continuing to find ways to not do the things I tell myself that I most want to do.  It’s like my day is ruled by the schedule and yet I’m somehow not reading, spending time in creative thinking or making actual offers for my business in my designated marketing hour.

I wrote out models but the intentional model isn’t quite meeting what’s going on.  Could you help me identify what’s happening with my schedule T, F, A?  Could you also point in to some other places where I can get more info about how to manage these thoughts when they come up around scheduling?  I also think that they aren’t just about scheduling. I think they are about me living my best, relaxed, enjoyable, powerful life.

C – schedule
T – I have a self-sabotage habit of not doing what is important.
F – shame
A – I look at the schedule dozens of times a day.  Worry that I’ll go over my time.  Worry that I won’t use the time.  Then, when it gets to my reading, research or creative time, I don’t use it the way that I envisioned.  I say mean things to myself for not keeping my schedule.  I think that the schedule isn’t working.  I think that it can work for everyone but me.  I think that I don’t have enough time in the day.  I blame/shame myself.  Push back and rebel against the schedule and look for all the reasons it’s not working, not feeling relaxed and not being productive.  I begin to think it’s a waste of time.
R – I don’t keep my word to myself to live my values.

C – schedule
T – I get to decide my schedule
F – more open
A – build my weekly schedule based on my priorities. Try to keep the schedule. Offer myself love when I don’t keep the schedule.
R – I continue to build my Monday Hr. 1 Schedule