I have some issues with “having” money. I grew up in poverty, on state assistance until I was in high school. I was the youngest of 5 kids. I don’t think our money situation necessarily changed, I think having 3 kids move out, just made it more manageable for my parents. Growing up in a scarcity mindset, I didn’t really think affected me too much. After I moved out and was married, my husband and I had plenty of money. But, unknowing at the time, my husband was bipolar and would have episodes of doom and gloom about 3 months of the year, which meant we can’t spend money on anything, and everything we buy must be the cheapest version of it, blah blah blah. Then the other 9 months were manic and let’s go on every vacation and spend money and buy for all our friends…. Anyway, my husband ended up committing suicide and I sold our business and now have quite a lot of money. It pains me a little bit to have that money, and I think it’s because of my upbringing. Some thoughts I have are… People with money think they are better than everyone else. No one deserves that much money. Anyway, my current net worth is close to 3 million dollars. And my siblings have made the comment that I don’t need that much money and so on and so on. Therefore, I think I make my self feel guilty for having it. And I think I still come from a place of scarcity even though I know I have that money. I’m always thinking I’m going to lose all the money I have in the stock market, or I am going to spend too much. I only buy clothes from Walmart. I mean it really seems ridiculous. I am now remarried and have not even told my husband how much money I have. He knows everything I own is paid for, so he knows it’s quite a lot, but it’s almost like I am embarrassed by it. And of course, after my 1st husband died my family told me to make sure to have a prenup before I get married again, so those thoughts are also going through my mind, because I didn’t do that…. (Another truth I seek out of how I could lose my money). I don’t even let myself think I have that money. It is in separate accounts than the ones I use. I also believe I would be a shitty mom if that money wasn’t handed down to my kids when I die. This was all brought up after listening to “Money with Kathryn” this month.