Ive been working through this for a bit, and have grown up a ton.
My husband has debt which he hasn’t paid off as he promised he would. This debt was before we married and it has been 6 years.
Ive come to see this as perfect for me to reveal my own money issues and how much I dislike debt. I’m getting clearer and freer with it all even if he has debt. I used to believe I couldn’t build wealth while he has debt… I don’t believe that anymore.
Which leads me to a convo we had today. I was reconciling our visa and I asked him… “so when you think about money, what do you believe. Is it easy or hard to earn?”
His response was “it isn’t that it is easy or hard, it is that everything is about money. I just think people should be more”
I had all these thoughts about his previous marriage, while his ex earned a lot, they were always in debt, and ended up using their house to pay off credit cards….
So I can see a lot from his perspective.
And…. I’m now in a place to be courageous to simply earn what I want to earn, save what I want to save AND still feel connected to him.
So this is a model I am exploring
C – 2 M in savings
T – it is okay that he is not along for the ride
A -keep up with the budget, continue to grow my business, be sure to connect over things other than money.
R – realize my goal, while also practicing connection with my husband even though is is not along for the ride.
This probably can use some Refinement. What I like about it is that is is a huge change from before when I needed home to change for me to realize my goal- and him changing or not has nothing to do with my goal.