Hi,

Thank you coaches for all your help and answers.

I am a stay home mom and now homeschooling our son. Husband is self employed. He does not give himself a paycheck but does several distributions throughout the month when necessary. He tells me the personal account is $0.00 and that I can not go and buy a few groceries. Just a few days ago he bought and came home with a used boat he said he paid $600 for. I ask him, how it is that the account is at $0 and he gets defensive and tells me he is trying really hard to work and then he gets upset and says he will not come on the bike ride as planned cause now he has to work. He shows me over and over that he is not so well with finances and it is a pattern that is repeated.

C bank account is at $0.00
T Why does he buy a boat if he suspect the account will go to 0.
F Angry
A Thinking I want to try to hide money just in case.
R Planning an escape plan.

C bank account is at $0.00
T Why does he buy a boat if he suspect the account will go to 0. If I say something negative, things will turn sour.
F I have to lay low and not upset him.
A show him understanding and emphaty. Tell him I know he works hard.
R Not feeling secure and feel I have to tip toe around him or things will get worse.

C bank account is at $0.00
T He keeps the account so low so that I will feel scared and rely on him. Why does he not want me to work?
F Is he hiding money. How can I live with someone who is not communicating with me about our finances.
A guarded, looking for evidence.
R Not feeling secure.