Money and Sacrifice

The most I have ever made is $65K. I want to make $120K next year. Making the $65K in my corporate job was easy in that I was paid for my thoughts, ideas and their execution, but it was hard in that it required me to be away from my kids and family more than I wanted. I worked for a resort working weekends and holidays to support other people’s time with their families and I resented it. I have a new career, running my own business, which is deliberately not 24/7. I am making $30K this year, and have a signed agreement to take over someones practice at the end of the year, which puts me well on track to make over $100K. To do so, I need to study to gain more technical knowledge and believe that I bring as much value to the client as the person I am replacing.

After today’s money call, I noticed that I still have a belief that earning $65K or more will require more sacrifice from my time with my family than I am willing to make and I don’t want this to be true. I also want to let go of the belief that my husband should be the major provider so I can take care of the kids. I want to take care of the kids (with whatever help he wants to provide) and I don’t want to be dependent on him for the lifestyle and savings that I want.

C: Making $120K
T: If I make more than $35K, I will have to sacrifice time with my kids and family.
F: Angry (at sacrifice from last job), resistant to work hard at new opportunity
A: Prioritizes kids over work (even though I enjoy the work)
R: Sabotage. New biz fails.

C: Making $120K in 2020
F: Love my time at my job, love my time with my family.
A: Deliberate time with kids, family and friends. Deliberate time for work.
R: There is plenty of time for work, family and fun.

C2: Have lifestyle and savings
T: Husband should provide most of the financial support for our family
F: Frustrated that he no longer does (he did for 5 years while kids were tiny, had some health issues and no longer does)
A: Badgers husband (three years now, I’ve giving this up)
R: I’m unhappy, he’s unhappy

C2b: Have lifestyle and savings
T: I can earn enough to provide the lifestyle and savings that I want our family to have.
F: Proud, nervous about sacrificing time with family and fun part of myself.
A: Be deliberate in time with family and time with work.
R: Better relationship with husband, proof to myself that I can support us for the long haul and that earning money can be fun!