Money Anxiety

I feel stuck in my life especially around spending money. I am completely neurotic about money even though I have plenty. Spending money gets me stressed out.
Right now I manage family investments and my parents care (they are really old!). So, the insurance company has told us they won’t pay for their care and our out of pocket is going up to $120,000 per year. When I spend the money, I get a horrible feeling and complain and am very controlling.
C- I have to pay $120,000 for my parents care.
T- They will go broke, won’t have any money left, my family will blame me for mismanaging their estate.
F- Anxiety, being trapped, no options.
A- Talk incessantly, analyze, procrastinate. Justify to sisters why it is not my fault.
R- I have to pay $120,000 for my parents care.

C- My parents care will cost $120,000
T- They have the money and that is what they want.
F- Resigned (still not a good one!).
A- Sign them up with agency
R- They have to pay $120,000

So, it is more the feeling of having no options. Like people have me and I have to do it.
Any thoughts. My money neurosis makes my husband feel bad about himself, brings me anxiety and I can’t enjoy spending at all, even though I spend a ton of money

Thanks Brooke.
Now that I am writing this, any suggestions on a commitment around this would be great.