A focus area for me this year has been balanced Money Responsibility with my husband. I have a pattern I keep reliving since I was a teenager. I’m really good at making money, so I’m allowed to pick any man I want, even if he is struggling financially. The men usually start off with jobs and then quit them once we are together. Then I get resentful. I’ve uncovered a lot of my unhelpful thoughts and actions that created this pattern. I’ve slowly been switching my thoughts, but I’m stuck on one that is hard for me to let go of.

Specifically “In a marriage the money is “our” money and must be shared.” Although the way this plays out is “my money is our money, his money is his money”.

C: Husband tells me he only has $7 in account and doesn’t get paid for a week
T: If I have money, I must share it because that is what you do in a marriage
F: Obligated
A: Give him money
R: He’s happy. I’m resentful.

Here is my intentional model I’m working on, but haven’t found the right combo yet

C: Husband tells me he only has $7 in account and doesn’t get paid for a week
T:
F:
A:
R: My husband has $7 in account and is empowered to change it himself if he wants to. I have no further thoughts about it.

I discovered a couple of combos that seem to make sense, but switching to those models kick up the thought: “I’m selfish and greedy”

Possible new thoughts:
1. This is his opportunity to feel uncomfortable and grow
2. This is an opportunity for me to grow by being uncomfortable keeping my boundary

Although I can believe both of these thoughts, the “I’m selfish and greedy” thought keeps popping up. Is there a bridge thought that can help me?