Money Boundary

It is interesting that either you have money or not, still problems are there. I am trying to grasp that I am creating my own feelings with my thoughts but the circumstance is money leaving the accountant and loaning. My mother in-law brings others needs to our attention and with all good intentions she informs my husband thinking that we can earn interest on the loaned money. I tried gently to set boundaries with her and told her that we don’t need to know if some one asks her to inform us and her son is trying to help taking equity loan on the house to others.My husband is very upset and blames that I am a bad person there is no need to tell them that blah.. blah. that is why no one likes me. Which BTW doesn’t bother me as I love myself and I truly know that I am a good person and wants to live my life the way I want .When I bring up setting the boundaries as suggested by my coaches among ourselves he gets extremely angry and refuses to take that conversation forward. Bottom line.. we have big investments and quarterly loans and we both make money and personally we have no issues to have one account. But our philosophy around loaning to family is very different and we were already burned from my side of the family and he argues that my uncle didn’t return. I don’t appreciate that my uncle didn’t return and never support that. I even admit it is a mistake ( he was fully informed about this )him that is the reason we need to be careful and we need to learn to say NO as we don’t have surplus amount floating around and don’t need to go through this over and over. Any suggestions are appreciated