The topic I’d like help on is: money. I plugged my thoughts in the model, see below. Thank you.
Circumstance: I have $______ in my bank account.
Thoughts: I don’t have enough money in my bank account to cover all of my expenses. It’s hard to make good money. Why can’t I be better at managing money, I’m 30 now for heaven’s sake?!
Feelings: Sadness, hopelessness, frustration, annoyance, anger, and bitter.
Actions: I shut down and isolate myself. I binge read self-help articles on money, personal development, or what millionaires/successful people do. I cut out excess spending. I start to create something new for my people, but don’t finish because I wonder if it will even sell. I get snappy and annoyed when my sister or a friend asks to go out to dinner, the movies, or something “not in the budget”. I start selling things I don’t need to make more money.
Results: Some money is made, however, I usually repeat or experience the same cycle and it becomes exhausting.
Other Notes: In a podcast you did quite awhile ago, you stated that you were raised where you worked hard and had the belief money was made easily— it did not have to be a struggle. I thought that was amazing and wondered what it’d be like to have been raised with an abundant mindset towards money. With that said, I did have a happy childhood with exceptional parents, yet as much as I want to believe that making lots of money is possible, I’m still struggling with so many limiting beliefs like the following:
Life can be hard.
It is, what it is.
I can’t afford it.
I’m on a budget or that’s not in my budget.
What if people steal from me when I become rich?
What if my family treats me differently if I become wealthy or have more money?
You have to work hard.
You can’t have a life and make good money.
I don’t want to live in a mansion, I don’t want that much.
I really just want to help people.
I’m not a man.
I’m black and a woman, I have to work twice as hard.
No one in my family has ever become a millionaire before.
I’ve got to sacrifice and give up everything I love and enjoy like eating out, and organic food and possibly my gym membership.
I really just want to give and serve.
I’m not about sales or selling.
Ugh. How much does it cost?
Why does everything I like cost so much?
If I could only make $_______?
Well, that’s easy to say when you have money and you’re white.
These beliefs are not serving me and I am willing to do the work to be rid of them. So, I guess what I’m asking is how do I fix it? I don’t have these thoughts all the time necessarily (or at least not knowingly), but when I dig deep around money these are some of the beliefs that come up for me. How do I retrain my mind to have a healthy and happy relationship around and with money?
Thank you in advance for your time and wisdom.