Money Memory

I have been doing some work around money. Thanks to Brooke’s amazing teachings I unearthed a money memory.
I had forgotten about this, but when I remembered it, its so painful that I burst into tears.

15 years ago I left and abusive marriage which was the bravest thing I ever did.
I stayed with friends till I found my own apartment. My ex and I had always had joint bank accountants, and it hadn’t occurred to me that he would block my access to my own money. When the first months rent was due I had no money to pay it.
I was emotional so vulnerable there was so much upheaval. This felt like a huge deal.
My parents had always told my brother and sister and me that if ever we needed money we could ask them for a loan. Although we had all left home at 18 years old and had jobs to pay our own way through school etc.
However this felt like an emergency so I called them and ask them to loan me the rent until my lawyer could help me get access to my money again.
My parents refused. They made up some excuse that didn’t make sense. It was to do with the money being wired overseas because I had moved to a different country.
In that moment I felt so alone it was like, I was completely alone in the world.

A few years later they did lend my brother some money and that ended really badly. They say they are there to help financially if their children need it. But they don’t actually mean it.
It would be better if they didn’t say anything at all.

Anyway, I would like heal this within myself
But I not sure how