Money Worry

I discovered a thought that has been with me for years. So quiet and subtle I didn’t even realize it was a thought. It’s “I want more money so I don’t have to worry about it anymore” or “I just don’t want to worry about money anymore”

C Money
T I just don’t want to worry about money anymore
F Resistant
A Do whatever I can to have more money because I also think if I have more money I won’t worry- save, make big savings goals every year, beat myself up or second guess purchases or investments even if they are aligned with what I want, sit down and look at finances obsessively to see if we are “ok” and going to be “ok”. I immediately want to sell my possessions, apply for jobs, work extra jobs, etc. bring my worry to my husband and discuss if we will be okay, I even do this in front of the kids. Don’t – create a financial plan and stick to it, I keep bouncing back and forth. Don’t be grateful for the money I have, have had and for what we are creating, I’m not grateful for things like our health or opportunities or my family, I don’t plan my days or weeks or think ahead. I am so focused on the numbers in my accounts. I don’t spend time with my family because I am focused on money.
R ?

I am not sure what the result is?

How would one start creating an intentional model about this? I do understand that worry can be useful and good. It has helped me create financial stability and emergency plans in place if something does happen. I just don’t like how I behave when I am worrying and how I put everything else in my life on hold or the back burner as I try to “figure it out” and try to get to the bank account number to what I think we need to be okay.

I know this obsessive pattern is like my old pattern with weight and body image. In reality there is no problem, it’s just a thinking problem. I know when my body image settled it was because I stopped caring about the end result of a six pack and certain weight and focused solely on taking care of myself and feeling my best. I remember the exact thought that took me there was “I don’t even care what my body look likes. I am so grateful for it and I am going to take the best care of it because it feels so good.” It’s funny now because I have zero drama around body image and my thought is “I don’t want to waste a second thinking about this. I will just take the most amazing care of myself.”