Morning mood

Dear Brooke, i am trying so hard to work on my morning and other thoughts – allowing it to be , not resisting , trying to find believable alternatives , but i can not act appropriately around morning weighing myself – it affects my mood very much , and lately it has not been positive – i am stuck on 140 lbs for 9 days – eating according to very carefully designed and adjusted protocohol, etc. But it’ s not the point – i know i am doing everything and just have to be patient . Please, don’t say another thing about “choosing ” what to think , i understand that – just have difficulties to choose to think other things because i don’t believe them . I was listening your episode on morning thoughts this morning and you said list 20 things that you like about your body – i almost chalked – i cam only list 4 – i am very healthy, i look very young, i have huge eyelashes and long healthy hair – everything fro head down is not on list – it is not a choice – it’s a reality.
I don’t want the scale to affect my mood – i want to choose to think differently , instead i think what a failure i am , i spend so much money and time on this program and it doesn’t work for me – i feel self pity , i am crying as i am typing it. I do tons of models a day , it snaps me out of misery for a moment but then it comes back .
I don’t know what i want to hear from you – i know exactly what you are going to say , it’s too vague for me . Or i am missing the point all together and may be not ready for the work yet. Feel SOOO down. Julia