mother in law

Hi there,
So this past week I did the homework on my mother in law and one thought/belief about her just seems stuck.

c: mother in law
t: she’s such a egotistical person -only looks out for her best interest
f: disgust
a: trying to avoid her, resisting to tell her my opinion
r: having a fake nice relationship with her.

How can I turn around this feeling?
First of all, I came from an Italian family in which the women are really caring and looking after everyone: feeding them, asking them things etc. putting the family first and she doesn’t do that. She’s like a teenage girl. So disgusting.

Second I notice how I have the same patterns.. I also look after what’s best for me BUT never concerning my family.
And she does that with her sons – it makes her so disgusting.

How can i turn this around?