Mother in Law Thought Drama

Things drastically changed with my mother in law and my family when I became pregnant and had our daughter. We have tried to mend the relationship but she has these weird/crazy thoughts and we have not been able to get back the amazing relationship we had with her. All her kids tell me this is just who she is and to basically let her go and except this new status quo but how do I let go 15 years of friendship? We had an amazing relationship and now that does not exist. I have so much thought drama around it, and whenever I have to see her I get so worked up I do not know what to do, I feel sick to my stomach and the anxiety is killing me.

A few things, any advice on how to reach out and try to heal this rift once and for all? I know all these feelings are my thoughts of abandonment and loss from someone I had in my daily life for 15 years and my spouse says he has just “let it go, it is not worth it.” I am just not wired that way. My sister in law says welcome to the club this is how things have been for her forever, but it breaks my heart, everything she does feels like a dagger.