Mother relationships

You have coached me before on my divorce and ex-husband issues but I have a question about your mother relationship that you resolved. I just listened to one of your pod casts where you say you made boundaries with your mom and you were the one that chose to heal that relationship….you said you were the one viewing it the way. I am in the same boat but am the mother. I have three kids…two daughters and one son. I want to heal the relationship but I am on the opposite side of where you were. I don’t control how my kids feel about how I raised them…I was not perfect and I did the best I knew how to do but I made mistakes for sure. Do I just step back or do I keep trying to reach their souls? I have tried for a good five years and nothing I do seems to work. My divorce was so brutal on everyone and it has taken such a toll and my three adult children. I feel like they are exhausted and have gone inward. I will never stop loving them but I am to a point where I feel like I need to step left for my sake. What is your advice for me? Much appreciated.