Please could you help me with this model?
C. Mother says words such as “you must do …. (the thing she wants me to do) or you are a bad daughter / will destroy the family / abandon me / break your brother’s heart”. (Whatever the right phrase is in the situation that she knows will manipulate me the most)
T. She is cruel and manipulative.
F. Grief (for the mother I wish I had)
A. Avoid her as much as possible. Emotionally detach from her. Buffer. Keep communication with her surface level and use “little” lies or avoid telling the whole truth in order to avoid or reduce any information I can give her that she can use against me in the future. looping on being a bad daughter and ruminate on emotionally detaching from her and whether this is the correct decision or whether I should be able to deal with all this.
Please would you assist me with the unintentional model? I’m not sure about the result here. Many thanks for any input.