Mother stuff


I love asking you mother questions because you are so great with this stuff! I am on a trip right now for my cousin’s wedding. My parents are also on this trip. We are staying at the same hotel and going to the same wedding. My kids and husband are with me. It’s a lot for me to juggle to just manage my own family and then I’m getting my mom’s needs mixed up with mine. She expressed disappointment that we didn’t drive over at the same time, disappointment when we left a get together early and disappointment when we made plans to do something without her. She changes the dynamic of my family when she is around and she is always an hour late which is a disaster when I have small children who need routine (also when I have an eating protocol I’d like to maintain), so I definitely don’t want to spend the whole trip with her, but I’m finding myself dreading even spending a little time with her.

This is my current model:

C: Mom on same trip as us
T: She is so needy and annoying
F: Annoyed/Irritated
A: Avoid her and not include her in our plans
R: She is even more needy

I am going to work to move to a new model on this trip. I am going to allow her to be disappointed as I do what is best for myself and family, but I do want to feel good about the time that I do spend with her.

C: Mom on same trip as us
T: She can want to spend every minute with us, show up late and be disappointed. It’s not my job to meet her needs.
F: Relaxed
A: Open/inviting to mom doing some activities with us
R: My needs are met, but she gets to spend time with us.