I have always had a very good relationship with my godson. The past few years I’ve not been in much contact with my Bio-Family (his mother is my sister) and I am almost 100% ok with this. I haven’t spoken to this godson since my birthday last June when he called me. The relationship historically was that he calls or texts on holidays/sends flowers Mother’s Day, BD, Valentine’s Day. He texted me yesterday afternoon and right away my brain went to negativity. The dramatic story around the whole ‘estrangement’ isn’t worth telling and is going into total victim mode, so I think this is enough info for my question. I responded by saying “Thank You” . No emoji, no xxxoooo. I feel ok with my response.

C: S texted me and said “I love and miss you, happy mother’s day”
T: He did that out of obligation
F: Sad
A: Ruminate over this, look for evidence of how he is doing it out of obligation, talk about this to my husband, call my BFF, email therapist
R: I am not fulfilling my obligation that I made to myself to stay on top of my mental and emotional well-being ?? NOT SURE

C: S texted me and said “I love and miss you, happy mother’s day”
T: I have no evidence that this text was “obligatory”
F: Curious
A: Respond to the text as I see fit, accept the relationship as it is now, don’t make the text mean anything about my worth or value, take the text at face value – it’s a text, continue on with my relaxing Sunday
R: I keep my obligation to myself and my wellbeing????