My model seems very mixed up here. I have a negative emotion but it seems to still lead to the Result supporting the Thought.

C. My mother died Aug 28,2019
T. I feel freer with her gone
F. Ashamed
A. I Don’t admit to others that I feel freer. I get rid of a lot of her things. Feel sick to my stomach when I think about being somewhat glad she’s gone. I do a lot more activities with my free time now.
R. I am freer than when she was alive.

C. My mother died Aug 28,2019
T. I feel freer with her gone
F. Curious
A. Think how I can be a blessing to my kids. Try not to judge myself for my mixed feelings.
R. I am freer than when she was alive.

This really doesn’t feel quite right to me. Maybe it’s just that I’m still grieving after having cared for her during her sudden illness this summer.