Moving Past BF’s Accident


A week ago my love (aka boyfriend of almost 1.5 years) had an accident while out doing what he loves. He was hospitalized for four days, but is going to be fine, and I predict he will be back doing his thing as soon as he is physically capable. Also, I enjoy spending time with him in the mountains and I want to be able to both be out there with him and know he is going out alone without this incident haunting me. With that in mind, I’d really like to stop doing something I’ve been doing since it happened, visualizing the event. I was not there to see it, but my brain is happy to fill in with its own vivid imagery.

I worked through a couple of models.

Unintentional:
C – BF fell over 100 feet and sustained injuries
T – What an awful thing to experience.
F – Sad
A – Repeatedly visualize fall. Wonder about details of what happened. Perceive these thought loops as inevitable/out of my control.
R – I keep this event alive in my mind and it negatively impacts my future experience.

Intentional:
C – BF fell over 100 feet and sustained injuries
T – That is in the past.
F – Grateful
A – Notice and interrupt thoughts that lead to visualization of accident. Practice replacing with intentional thoughts to cut off unintentional thought loop. When I catch myself visualizing the accident, replace with positive, fun memories and refocus on feeling grateful.
R – I allow this incident to remain in the past so it doesn’t negatively impact my future experience.

Up to this point, I have felt like these bouts of visualizing the accident seem to come up spontaneously — in the last couple of days that I’ve been actively trying to stop, I often don’t notice until I’m in the middle of it already.

I would love any input of these models or other ways to consider this. Since the accident, I have friends who have shared stories with me about how seeing their partner get hurt impacted them negatively for a long time. I can understand that, but I very much want to believe I have the power to create a different outcome.