Muddled in Model Muck

Hi there, thanks so much for your support. I’m struggling with the model in two ways: 1) In one scenario, my result doesn’t mirror my thought; 2) In another, after identifying the components of my model, I am sitting with the recognition that I am generating my results, but I’m not moving past it. What is my next step to feeling better?! Here are the two models:

Scenario One
C: my mother’s choices
T: She is so undisciplined
F: bitter
A: I think judgmental & blaming thoughts; I resolve not to be like her; I silence & distance myself, avoid her, & stew.
R: relationship wanes. We are strained. Lack of pleasure together.

Scenario Two:
C: my employment
T: I am like a child —immature & polyanna-ish
F: inconsequential
A: over-talk, interrupt, ask dumb questions or too many questions, take on a higher voice, become over-deferential
R: I am like a child…
Now what?! I feel terrible & insecure but don’t know how not to.

Thanks again.