Dear coaches,
I’m writing to ask about how to self coach when it feels like circumstances are piling up faster than you can find neutrality with them. Over the past two years, there have been so many things that have happened that I can barely process one before the next happens. Brother – secret alcoholic, diagnosed with cirrhosis; Father – Parkinson’s disease and knee replacement surgery; Mother – hospitalized 3 time in 4 months for smoking and drinking related illness, now in need of home care that I need to sort out; Close friend – relapse of metastatic breast cancer, alcohol and opioid addiction, sudden death from cardiac arrest. Plus a load of things happening at work that I’m responsible for dealing with. And then all the things I want to do for myself just seem to keep getting pushed back.

It’s interesting that so many of the issues have been self-inflicted by my friends and family. I think that’s fueling my frustration- I feel like I need to deal with their bad choices. I think I feel responsible for helping family and friends, in fact I know I choose to. The work I’ve done here has been amazing when I have time to breathe and explore and find thoughts that serve me but these past few weeks I’ve just sort of lost it with other people’s problems. I’ve been impatient, snapping, and so frustrated. My mind keeps spinning from one situation to the next, replaying events, trying to find some peace, somewhere to settle. The only thought that has been a little helpful has been – this is hard but they’re doing the best they can and I’m doing the best I can. But it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water.

Any advice for how to handle event after event without feeling swallowed up by grief and anger and frustration and spinning out of control mentally would be very much appreciated. Thank you.