Multiple models for a situation with boyfriend


Hi! I tried to put in a model a situation (I would call it a fight, but I know that calling it a fight is more of a thought than a fact…) that I often have with my boyfriend. I know nobody has the power to make us feel angry… and I would love nothing more that to be able to not react and not be angry when this situation happens…. So, I figured the first step was to try and understand what was going on in my brain to make me feel so angry. As I put it in the model, I realised that I needed more than one to have a good overview of what was going on. Moreover, I realised that the F line for each model is angry (should it be a different feeling per model?). What do you think?

Thank you so much!

C: I was reacting to anxiety (rushing aroung and being impatient with my boyfriend) when my boyfriend told me : Breath deeply and tell yourself that everything is okay
T: Why are you saying this to me, you think I don’t know that already??
F: Angry
A: Rumination (He thinks he knows better than me; He thinks I can’t get ahold on myself; What a condescendent thing to say,….)
R: I add a layer of suffering to my already existing anxiety

C: The vibration of angriness in my body (the F from the previous model)
T: Why is he saying this to me again, he knows that makes me angry.
F: Angry
A: Yell at him to stop saying those thing to me; Yell at him that he should know better by now than saying that kind of thing when I’m angry; Yell at him that it would behank better to just say nothing instead.
R: I don’t take responsibility for my own angriness

C: I don’t take responsibility for my own angriness (the R from the previous model)
T: It’s his fault if I’m angry
F: Angry
A: I shut down toward him and myself
R: I don’t create space for a loving and sharing relationship