My 30th birthday party

I currently have 8 people confirmed to come to my party this weekend, and there’s room for 5 more. In the past, I’ve skipped planning a party some years because I was worried that people wouldn’t show up / want to come.

I want it to be different this year so I took action earlier. The result is that I have 8 confirmed RSVPs. But I also procrastinated in some respects, and that’s why I don’t have the full 13 people (yet). I did a thought download, and I asked myself “What if I allowed myself to receive the love and time of my friends?” (I’m intentionally paying more attention to all the abundance I have in my life.) And I’m absolutely bawling because I feel like I don’t deserve it. Where do I go from here?