My adult daughter(25yrs) and I always have a verbal confrontation when we see each other.

It’s a pattern that I’m predicting before I see her and it causes anxiety in me anticipating her arrival.
We will be talking and I will say something and she will have attitude towards what I have said. I will try to rephrase or navigate the path I think we are about to take. The tension and attitude in our conversation will be obvious to the both of us and once again we both will want to got our separate ways.
I love her. I’m learning to accept and honour her lifestyle which does not come naturally for me. I want us to be able to share time together and navigate the disagreements. My model on this looks like this:
C – Daughter and I had tone of irritation or raised voices during a conversation .
T- I’m irritating her again and I feel like what I say is not valuable.
F – irritating, useless, not valued
A- I get defensive
R- she leaves or we stop talking