My brain is being mean to me

I have worked for a ministry for 21 yrs and I value the position.
Recently I was given an assignment of coming up with new ideas.
I was excited to have been given this honor and I came up with many great suggestions.
I emailed my boss with the ideas and her response was…”let’s wait for her to get back” (the is the woman that had the responsibility before me)

C given new responsibility sent email with ideas. Boss emailed back, “lets wait for her to get back”
T She doesn’t trust me
T She doesn’t think I can do this
T She doesn’t like me
F shame
A read email over and over, ruminate, talk to co worker, talk to husband, get quiet, pull back, judge myself as not good enough,
look for other evidence to make this thought true.
R I don’t trust me (is this a good result)

Why am I making this about myself worth?
This is a well rehearsed thought when it comes to my boss and position.
I recently discovered I have scarcity around time and money.
Is this more of that?

Do I need to go back and see how this showed up with my mother?

Intellectually I I know these are just thoughts but they seem so true.
What do I do?