My brain wants to escape this!


This is my first month in Scholars. I joined SCS because I don’t know how to love myself, how to take care of myself. I had a childhood that featured an untreated schizophrenic parent and pretty deep abuse/abandonment. I’ve done a LOT of therapy and worked through a lot of trauma. Yay! But… I’m realizing I have a hard time even identifying my emotions, and I’ve spent a huge amount of time buffering to avoid the pain. Recently, I’ve been learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings. In the past, I either escaped/avoided them completely or I had to FIX IT right now or I wasn’t okay, if that makes sense. As I begin my work in SCS, my brain wants to RUN! I do a little reading or a podcast or homework and quickly my brain wants to skitter away, anywhere but here. Kinda “uh oh, EMOTIONS!!! I’m going to help by running away!” I’m trying to gently say “you don’t have to do it all today, but you do need to some of it today. It will get easier “. Any suggestion appreciated.