My daughter has completed a relationship with her best friend because she tells me that it was toxic to her. My thought is, is that I should let her know that the words that her BF says are words and she can choose what she is making them mean. That being said, I also have that thought she can handle her own relationships and she told me that she did not complete the relationship from anger but from a place of love from herself. I feel at times a pull between both of those models-that maybe I am not being authentic-but she has said that she does not need advice she knows what she is doing. The only reason I begin thinking about this is because my husband feels so strongly that my daughter’s path is to love her bf unconditionally. I find mostly I live in the camp that my daughter knows what she wants and is not asking for advice. She only speaks about it when my husband asks about it. Also my daughter is an adult.

C-daughter says “I completed my relationship with Jordan”
T-You get to create the relationships that you want
F-love
A-I do not need to bring up her past
R-I get to create the relationship I want with my daughter

C-Husband says” daughter you should reach out to Jordan ”
T-maybe he is right
F-inauthentic
A-I pretend that our daughter asked for advice, I forget that no one is right about my daughter but her
R-i make this about him

I know that I am not seeing my models clearly. I think I judge my daughter some for completing and then in the same breath I applaud her for not hating or being angry-she is choosing to not reach out. If she is not asking for advice-I am not being inauthentic unless I do not love her unconditionally regardless of her decisons. I do love her for that decison. I thought that she was brave and not angry. She stopped immediately with any drama and had none.
Thank you