My Decision, not my Mom’s. (Duh, right?) I Want to Freely Choose Whom to Hire, Fire and/or Modify Conditions for – "D" Worker


As I write this down, it looks so obvious.  Yet, my Mom has been “making me” hire this worker for 22 years, what?!  And though I am very grateful for what he has done, I am ready to let him go.  What changed?  That I just became a Diamond Scholar, and now I am more aware of my own decisions and the ones where I’ve let others choose for me?  I wonder as I write this.

It’s almost embarrassing to realize that it’s taken me so long to follow through with a decision “I’ve tried to make” before.  Wow.  I am the one to question everything that’s going on in the world.  Including the “test” for Covid-19 that is not really a test, nor reliable, and not even safe.  Like the “vaccine” that is really an experimental injection.  And lately I have worked really hard to accept that most people don’t even want to know the potential side effects of these, nor the “face diapers” they still wear for no reason.

And maybe I hadn’t questioned why I kept accepting to have a worker at my house that is not even pleasant, kind, nor a good worker; because he has done some jobs in the yard, and not precisely what I have asked of him. Hardly ever, not even taking care of my most precious fruits & herbs.  Well, this got to the point of zero tolerance, because he insulted me (said nasty words) in my Mom’s presence.  My Mom just watched, and did nothing to stop him (another issue altogether).  And I really don’t want to be hiring nor paying a guy to work at my home, if he cannot even respect me.

I have discussed this with him and I have been too nice and more than kind. Not only have I always paid him very well, over the market price but I have always given him all sorts of groceries & gifts.  More than I could ever “afford”, until I stopped doing this a couple of months ago.  And though I have given him very clear instructions of what I want done, he is like a 3/10 right now. Before he was like a 7/10.  And he blames us – Mom & I- for his hernia that he is getting surgery for.

So he was working with me at my house twice a week.  I asked him to only come once. And then we’ll see as he is under evaluation.  My Mom got all triggered because that may get me “in trouble” with the labor law. And I’m like, “no, I am not obligated to hire him”, although she did, in a way, “obligate me to hire him”.  I can’t believe I accepted and I hadn’t seen this!  Plus, I even offered to keep paying him the extra day though he would work it at my Mom’s house.

And after seeing that instead of improving to keep his work with me, he did such a bad job last time he came, I told my Mom that I could even fire him. And she said she would talk to him.  “Oh no, here we go again”, I think.  I want to end the vicious cycle, especially now because the man says I don’t treat my mom well. Possibly because he saw me fighting with my mom about this situation.  So now he is apparently acting with “vengeance” and anger towards me.  I have done some models, the UM, the IM; and now this.  So simple.

I know I will pay whatever I have to pay.  I know I can wait until his surgery and recovery with a bit more patience so that he has the income from me.  And of course I will pay him all the benefits the law demands, and then some.  As soon as I can.  Yet, I am done with him.  Enough is enough.

So the only thing that has held me back is really my Mom’s opinion.  And I said: Mom, you do you, I do me.  You hire whomever you want, and I hire whomever I want. Your money is your money, my money is my money.  Wow, what a difficult and complicated situation.  I am ready to let go.

Note: I have worked very hard to get along great with my Mom which I’m very proud of.  My most challenging relationship.  Thanks to The Life Coach School & you coaches!  We spent last weekend together, and it was all good.  As long as I let her be and I keep my boundaries so that “she lets me be”.  Coaches, what else can I think to turn this around for the best?

C: Worker D & his D work
T: I don’t want him working for me anymore.
F: Determined
A: I tell him it’s better to cut ties, I will pay him whatever I owe him, Mom will pay her bills with him… I don’t worry, I will do the right thing according to the Law, and I do the right thing to honor myself.
R: I work with people that work well for me.

C: Worker D & his D work
T: I am done dealing with him
F: Determined
A: I am grateful for what he did, I thank him, I don’t feel responsible for his future, I create money to pay him as soon as possible, I release myself from all undue guilt, I forgive myself for all my “imperfections”, I honor myself for doing this for me, I trust that I will find someone who will do what I ask, I don’t beat myself up, I don’t let my Mom make any more decisions for me… I appreciate that he was not a robber, I appreciate all he has done… I thank him for everything, and I think it’s better to follow through with this decision.
R: I release and let go of this relationship as soon as I can.