My DIL


I’m having a hard time with my daughter-in-law and would really like to feel better about her. A few of my thoughts (although they feel like circumstances to me) are:
She’ll respond and “like” and comment on my sister’s and my daughters’ IG posts and FB posts but never mine (trivial, I suppose, but I notice it and it triggers me)
She calls my sister and asks her to go to lunch – doesn’t ever check in with me.
She is controlling of my son and keeps a tight hold on him. I’m not alone in this observation.
I’ve been good to her and genuinely liked her but it’s gone south over the last year or so
I feel judged and disliked by her but am not going to put her in the driver’s seat by asking what’s bugging her – plus that seems like it would just make things pricklier.

I feel bad about this relationship because I know it will put a wedge and distance between me and my son – we won’t see each other as often if she doesn’t feel comfortable around his parents. Sure I can keep loving her but it doesn’t feel authentic with what’s going on.

Any viable suggestions?