My Expectations of Other People

I rationally and logically understand the concept that I can’t change anyone else’s behavior BUT have a very hard time coming to terms with this when it comes to my own family. Specifically my dad and sister. I recognize that I am being very judgemental and I tend to get on my high-horse about how they ‘should’ do things. I recognize this doesn’t help me or them because they haven’t asked for my help or advice. However, I then slip into apathy because I know I can’t help them. So rather than challenge them on their thoughts, beliefs, and behavior I just bite my tongue and don’t engage, meaning we have a very surface-level relationship. I guess my question is: How do I meaningfully connect with them when we have so little in common?