I am trying to allow my feelings but I don’t know if I’m doing it right.

My usual automatic response to my feelings is to shut down emotionally, go-go-go, then eat late at night or play games on my phone.

Now instead, I’m allowing the thoughts to be there
“I really want this food right now even though I’m not hungry.”
“I’m not going to be able to make it ”
“My life is awful and I feel horrible for thinking that way”
“I’m not a good enough mom”
Etc

Then (or what seems like first) the feelings of despair, sadness, misery, shame, worthlessness, etc come and I just want to cry.

My question(s):
Am I acting/reacting if I let myself cry?
Am I supposed to be happy and pleasant while feeling so horrible inside?
How much time do I take throughout the day/week to run these models on my thoughts?
How much time is too much time spent coaching myself each day? How much is too little?

I tell myself that it’s my thoughts that are making me feel this way, and that I can feel differently. But that’s as far as I get right now because I believe these thoughts (and other negative ones) to be true.

Thanks