I’ve been visiting my grown son and am worried about him. He’s smoking cigarettes and drinking quite a bit – starts about 10 a.m. His house in really, really dirty – could fit the description of squalor. He seems really depressed, lacks motivation, sleeps in until about 10 in the morning, his car broke down at work and he’s not interested in my attempts to help him get it figured out. I had to rent a car while visitng hime because it broke down the day before I arrived. He manages a very prestigious gold course – the restaurant and bar – and appears charming and well put together. But behind the scenes – as his mother – I see these things and am worried. I wedge a little bit into a conversation with him about these things but don’t want to insult a grown man (he’s 34). How can I think thoughts that will release some of the worry I feel. Like I’d hate to have him end up in a very harmful, desperate situation and feel like I didn’t talk to him or advise him