My husband


I’m finding my thoughts about my husband hard to deal with.

2 weeks ago he was “complimenting” me on the work I was doing with SCS and of what he was noticing as a different.

This last week three evenings in a row he has made some comment or other about me being dramatic or overly worrying.

The last one was this; he and the kids were to be staying overnight at a local hotel (change of scenery, pool etc). I was coming home overnight to be with our dog. We were talking logistics and I said “just want to make sure you guys aren’t stranded without a car” (no food served in hotel currently, they may need the car once I’ve already left with it, he’d already mentioned perhaps taking two cars). It was a perfectly reasonable conversation then when I said that last comment he said words “babe… stop doing this.” And then something inaudible. I saw my comment as reasonable – planning ahead that he and our children would have what they need. He had thoughts about that that made him feel annoyed. We both dropped it and carried on with our day.

Now – hours later, evening, I’m home, he’s at the hotel with kids. He texts “ When you come tomorrow, could you bring us a couple pains au chocolat and ham and cheese croissants from Starbucks? Thanks. We’ll probably swim from 10 to 11, if pool not too packed. Checking out at noon. X”
I respond: Yes there’s also the breakfast provided remember? X
He texts back: I want to minimize contact with hotel staff, they haven’t been very friendly. X
He is referring to the one incident when we checked in when he had to sign with a pen and told them they shouldn’t make guests touch things. That’s his version of them not being friendly.
I respond “It (the breakfast) is a grab and go bag. Likely no contact needed.X“

This is a typical scenario with us. My thought is “he looks for problems and finds them”. He is letting his problems affect the children (not taking the breakfast for them tomorrow because of his “problem” with the staff). And the whole situation circling back to our conversation when I was checking with him if he thought he’d need the car at all. He has literally created a situation where he would need a car – but instead now is asking me to provide (go to Starbucks and get breakfast for them in the morning). And if I don’t or if I tell him that this was exactly what I was trying to plan for in our conversation earlier, he will then tell me that I’m being difficult or something to that effect.

I’m really working to have a clean C line recently and that has helped so much but here, my clean C line is one I don’t like. I was not planning on going to meet them early tomorrow morning, that was the point. But now he is “making me”. I feel like he’s insane sometimes. My option of course is to just not agree to picking up breakfast, but he caught me off guard and I’ve already said yes now.

All for his petty pride about avoiding “unfriendly staff” combined with him not having the full conversation with me earlier about whether he’d need a car.

Argh. I’d love help with this please. How to handle similar next time.