I go from feeling disbelief to sadness but find I am unable to live in the same house with him as we go through the process. There is so much to do and organize. Parts of me feel that if I wait in disbelief it will go away but this does not appear to be the case so today I am taking action. I am going to research and be kind to myself. I am going to rewrite the victim story today and pull up my pants. I am going to keep saying today I can do hard things. I don’t want this to turn ugly so I need a good thought to keep in my mind to deal with the questions of people wondering what is happening. It can’t paint him as a villain. I don’t want the power of my heart to go to him. I don’t want to be with someone who does not want to be with me. We have tried everything. I have been trying to manage my mind since May and there is no way this union can continue. I am not allowed to be me with him and that is key. Our marriage was not a priority. He is a human and gets to do what he likes in his life. Including me is not part of it. I get to now continue to create my happiest self.
C: husband is done.
T: I don’t want someone to stay with me in resentment
A: start to fill out papers today. Research thoughts. Make no contact with him. Rewrite my victim story. Know that this was supposed to happen.
R: learning to feel sad and not buffer but still do what needs to be done to move forward.