Hello coach,
I’d like to share with you a model that drives me crazy… or rather a situation that drives me crazy (thought, I know).
My husband left me. For a “friend” of ours. I’ve suspected she was in love with him for years but she lied to me and shared a very close friendship with him then confessed it all a few months ago when he, after becoming more and more “friendly” with her, fell in love with her. My marriage and family exploded. My nightmare and fears of the past few years became reality. He’s gone. With her.
Now I’m alone, we’re divorcing and he’s starting over with her.
My problem: I spend all my time poisoning my heart and my brain by imagining them together, making declarations of love, living a wonderful daily life, a total honeymoon, and I imagine them having sex (a lot, with details, it’s awful). I know I torture myself, I know it’s insane, but believe me, I try not to. I’d like to stop but I can’t. It obsesses me and destroys me. I’m haunted with it and it’s killing me, I look for help in the models but I’m so emotional and lost I need help…
Here is one of many, could you please help me complete it?
Thank you very much.
UNINTENTIONAL MODEL
C – My husband and my so-called girlfriend are in a relationship and love each other.
T – He has forgotten me, he doesn’t love me anymore, he is with a treacherous bitch, they fuck from morning to night and love each other madly, she has taken what is mine, he gives her what he used to give me, he has betrayed me, I am alone, they make fun of me.
F – Betrayal, abandonment, panic, rage, sorrow
A – Thinking about them 24/7, crying, suffocating, taking Xanax, lacking patience with my children, being tired, not sleeping or almost not sleeping, unable to eat, obsessing about them, imagining them in bed together or on a daily basis, looking at their Instagrams, etc.
A – Feeling like I’m going crazy. being pathetic. wasting energy and time. hurting myself intensely. not being the mum I want to be. not being the woman I want to be. hurting more.
INTENTIONAL MODEL
C – my husband and my so-called friend are in a relationship and love each other.
T – ???
F – acceptance, peace, maybe one day indifference?
A – focus on me, don’t think about them, redirect my brain, put them aside, do myself good, spend my time and energy on me and my children, on the three of us, rebuild.
R – take care of myself, love myself, respect myself, love the woman and mother I am becoming.
