Hi Brooke,

Things have been going really well with me and my husband lately. Then last night something happened;
A big issue that I have been working on is my thoughts regarding sex. Before I began doing the work I was in the habit of having sex with my husband even if I didn’t feel like it because I thought that was loving towards him. The result of this was that I resented him every time we had sex. So I decided to break to cycle and for a while now I have only had sex with him when I felt like it and I have enjoyed every time. Last night when he tried to iniate sex I told him I wasn’t in the mood and explained that I only wanted to when I felt like it and that in the past I had done it when I didn’t want to. I was actually really proud of myself when I was able to speak to him honestly. His reaction was not positive. It may have been my choice of words or I’m not sure what but he got very upset and said that something is not right. I was actually surprised by his reaction.
Since last night he has been ignoring me and I have tried to open a conversation a few times with him to no avail and I even wrote him a love letter but he didn’t respond.
So I did a model on how I’m feeling about this.
Unintentional
C-husband is quieter than usual
T- I don’t deserve to be treated like this
F- rejected, misunderstood,helpless, alone
A- buffer, think and think about the problem keep nagging him to resolve it
R- pain in my best, very unhappy day

Intentional
C- husband is quieter than usual
T- he’s human, he’s feeling hurt, I’m here for him when he needs me
F- love
A- love him unconditionally, wait for him to talk
R- I feel better, things will get better soon.

Thoughts?