My Inner Critic

Let me tell you what I think my beautiful brilliant brain has been doing behind my back! lol Since starting Scholars – I have had many thoughts about the wonderful changes and ideas that I have and the critical voice is always my best friend’s voice. (Sidenote: I sent this to you for a living coaching session and now I’m so glad I didn’t get picked because this is juicy). So for weeks I’ve been verbally combating my friend in my head whenever I would have a thought towards newness and commitment and content that I want to create. At first I was making it about what was wrong with her. She isn’t handling my change well. So yesterday I finally realized that this inner critic is not her (obviously right…it’s her voice and things she has said) but it is me. These are my thoughts. I just didn’t understand why it was happening. I was very confused (wink). So during lunch I had an idea regarding commitment and I heard her voice spouting some scripture that would cause doubt in what I’m thinking and I immediately was like that’s my thought. I literally told my brain to use my voice. I spoke out loud and everything. Here are the models:
C: My inner critic is bestie’s voice
T: I don’t know where this is coming from
F: confused
A: I focus on her. I think she’s not accepting my changes. I don’t focus on me
R: I externalize my fear and thoughts and don’t truly recognize and address them as my own

C: My inner critic is bestie’s voice
T: These are my thoughts so I can change them
F: Audacious (I’m giving my brain a momma’s I’m-gone-get-you look right about now)
A: I listen for those thoughts. I repeat those thoughts in my voice. I do models on those thoughts.
R: I take responsibility for my thoughts

I would just love your insight on this. So I think this was my brain’s way of trying to keep me safe. It was a distraction. My inner critic has always been her voice but since I didn’t do thought downloads and listen as an observer I never really noticed. Thanks for all you and the Scholar’s team do. Mindblowing… literally.