My job feels meaningless


I’ve done a lot of work on my thoughts about my job and all the ups and downs. I work in a deadline-driven environment where the work is very repetitive. I haven’t been given many growth opportunities over the time I’ve been in the position I’m currently holding. I have a repeating thought that my work and time spent here are completely worthless and that I care more about other things. I don’t want to leave the job I have because I need the money, but I also don’t want to continue thinking this way. I’m having trouble knowing how to move to an intentional model when I feel so much ongoing frustration.

Model 1
C: Work involves copying and pasting documents from others into the template for my company.
T: This is so meaningless
F: Frustrated
A: Scroll my phone, take lots of breaks, defend myself for taking breaks (to myself) because the work is so mindless, worry about what my boss thinks of me, think about leaving but don’t know what I’d do, tell myself I need to stay, finish my tasks while dealing with the emotional friction
R: Make my day more miserable

Model 2
C: Same
T: I’m wasting my time and potential here
F: Fear
A: Worry that I’m supposed to be doing something else, feel turned off by the work, slow down my work progress, stress myself out at night worrying about whether I’m keeping pace with my co-workers, tell myself there is no future in this role
R: ?

I worry that I want to change the C, but I don’t think I’m happy at this job, yet, to change the C.