"My kids should be living with me"


I know I am arguing with reality. I notice I am having a very hard time processing feelings of sadness and missing my kids. As soon as I allow the feelings, I start crying, then my brain starts offering a lot of thoughts about the past and the future, then I can’t stop crying or controlling the thoughts, then I start wallowing in self-pity. I want to allow thoughts about the past and future to pass by without hooking into them, but in practice this isn’t working very well.

UM1//
C: Kids living full time at dad’s house (13 yo daughter since Mar 16, 16 yo son since Jan 27)
T: My kids should be living with me
F: anguish
A: cry, buffer, procrastinate on paid work, indulge in self-pity and negativity, fight with husband, look for evidence that they have decided to move out permanently, indulge in regret that I didn’t make their last days at my house special, think about how other people left me and stopped loving me in the past, look for evidence that my BFF doesn’t care about me anymore, look for evidence that no one understands what I am going through
R: ?

UM2//
C: Kids living full time at dad’s house (13 yo daughter since Mar 16, 16 yo son since Jan 27)
T: People are leaving me…again.
F: self-pity
A: cry, buffer, procrastinate on paid work, indulge in self-pity and negativity, fight with husband, look for evidence that they have decided to move out permanently, indulge in regret that I didn’t make their last days at my house special, think about how other people left me and stopped loving me in the past, look for evidence that my BFF doesn’t care about me anymore, look for evidence that no one understands what I am going through
R: ?

IM//
C: Teen kids living full time at dad’s house (13 yo daughter since Mar 16, 16 yo son since Jan 27)
T: I’m going to take this one day at a time
F: clean sadness
A: experience feelings, allow urges, follow work plan, do Monday Hour One, don’t indulge self-pity and negativity, be loving towards husband, stay in present, allow thoughts about past and future to pass without hooking into them
R: ?

Your thoughts are welcome 🙂